Discernment Counseling
When you’re not sure whether to stay or leave.
Not every couple enters counseling with the same goal. In fact, research suggests that roughly 30% of couples seeking therapy have different agendas for the relationship, often with one partner considering separation or divorce while the other hopes to repair the marriage.
Deciding whether to stay in a relationship or leave is one of the most difficult decisions a couple can face. Discernment Counseling is a specialized approach designed for couples facing this uncertainty. Rather than immediately focusing on improving the relationship, the goal is to help both partners gain greater clarity and confidence about what comes next.
how it works
Discernment Counseling is a short-term, structured process, typically lasting between one and five sessions. Each session includes time together as a couple and individual conversations with the counselor, allowing both partners to explore their perspectives openly.
For the partner leaning out of the relationship, the focus is on understanding their uncertainty, exploring their role in the relationship's difficulties, and considering what moving forward might look like.
For the partner leaning in, the focus is on understanding the relationship's challenges, recognizing their own contributions, and exploring what meaningful change might require.
Unlike traditional couples therapy, neither partner is expected to commit to repairing the relationship before beginning.
What we’ll work on
Understanding Your Three Paths Forward —
01
Path 1: Stay the Course
Continue the relationship as it is for now, without making an immediate decision to separate or pursue intensive couples therapy.
02
Path 2: Separation or Divorce
Move toward ending the relationship with greater understanding of what led to this decision.
03
Path 3: Commit to Working on the Relationship
Agree to a six-month period of couples therapy, with divorce temporarily off the table, and both partners committing to meaningful personal and relational change.